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But that's not how my life turned out. When I actually turned 40, I was reeling from the humiliation of two short marriages followed by divorce, no kids, and two ill-fated endings. I had a therapist, a dating coach, a yoga membership, and a routine cry on my best friend's couch, obsessing over what went wrong … again. When I went out with someone on a fabulous first date, I'd make myself wait a week for the next one. AdvertisementAs I realized the energy I put into dating was actually in service of understanding myself, I felt empowered to finally pick the right person.
Persons: I'd, that's, , matchmakers, courtships Organizations: Service, Business Locations: Chicago
I tried to repeat the boundary script I read in a Forbes article the previous day. When I left the room, I obsessed over everything I said, questioning whether I sounded stupid or not. Even though both childhood trauma and burnout symptoms often overlap, the solution differs. Most traditional burnout recovery approaches overfocus on external solutions — like physical exercise or an adequate rest and sleep schedule. If I feel triggered at work, I quietly tell myself that freezing or complying helped younger Teresa survive scary events.
Persons: , Teresa, Teresa — Organizations: Service, Forbes, Business, Human Resources, Starbucks, Family Systems
Does counting sheep work? So does counting sheep really help you fall asleep? “Something as mundane as counting sheep usually does not do the trick,” she said. Remember what happened, how you felt and let yourself bask in those good feelings to encourage sleep, Harvey said. Doing so can get it out of your head before your head hits the pillow, allowing sleep to come without counting sheep.
Persons: CNN —, , I’ve, Messer Azzolino, , Miguel de Cervantes, Don Quixote, Sancho Panza, Quixote, Disciplina, Don Quixote ” —, Panza, you’ll, Allison Harvey, , Harvey, , ” Harvey, didn’t, savoring Organizations: CNN, Hulton, Research, University of California, Oxford University Locations: , Berkeley
I worked at a bank for years and loved the company, but my work often left me bored and uninspired. download the app Email address Sign up By clicking “Sign Up”, you accept our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy . Part of this meant paying attention to my energy levels and grouping my "work tasks" into one of three energy categories: energy suckers, energy stallers, and energy surgers. Because the job was such a great fit, I ended up earning salary increases quickly, which turned a pay cut into a pay raise. I'm glad I didn't give in to my rust out and instead worked on a plan that led me to my dream job.
Persons: , I'd, Rust, they'd Organizations: Service, Training, Energy
We decided to put off having children until we were both licensed clinical psychologists. I ended up getting pregnant naturally with my first child, but my second child was through IVF. Having kids in my late 30s was harder than I imaginedI wish I had frozen my eggs earlier. If you want to have kids at any point, set yourself up for successBefore having kids, ensure you have a strong support system, including the people around you and your habits. AdvertisementKids are expensive and it helps if you use the time leading up to having children to grow your financial health and set up your career.
Persons: Leslie Dobson, Dobson, , couldn't, should've, wouldn't Organizations: Service Locations: Hawaii
AdvertisementThis as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Faith Larkum, a student who participated in a FluCamp trial. How a clinical trial testing flu medicine worksFluCamp called the next day, inviting me for a blood test and explaining how the trial worked. The premise of the trial is you're injected with a diluted flu virus and then given either medicine or a placebo. AdvertisementThe only entertainment you're given is a PS4 and a few different games. I enjoy films and series as much as the next person, but after the trial, I'd completely maxed out my capacity for TV.
Persons: Faith Larkum, Faith, , FluCamp, I'd, me, you've, escapism would've, I've Organizations: Service Locations: Bali
The late-night host said his sunrise alarm clock wakes him up at 6 a.m. on Mondays. He said his sunrise alarm clock wakes him up with a gradual fake sunrise. AdvertisementA Philips sunrise alarm clock. Fallon did not immediately respond to requests for comment about which sunrise alarm clock he owns. WHOOP offers a free one-month trial period that comes with a pre-owned device.
Persons: Jimmy Fallon, Fallon, , it's, Fallon hasn't, Barry Chin, everyone's Organizations: Service, Wall, Philips, Boston Globe, Getty, Apple, OpenAI
After a routine iPhone update, a new Journal app recently appeared. What do you notice about it?”Apple is attempting to lure me into the world of Journaling 2.0, complete with the help of artificial intelligence. The app promises meaningful reflection, apparently gleaned from my phone usage, that I can share with people around me via Bluetooth. About 34 years ago, when I was 9, a family member gave me a “Ramona Quimby Diary.” The spiral-bound book contained a page of stickers that said, “Extra special!” and “Private! I’ve never felt a connection to the girl, blissfully lost in thought in her bucolic setting.
Persons: you’ve, , Ramona Quimby, … ”, I’ve, blissfully Organizations: Bluetooth Locations:
When I traded in my iPhone for a dumb phone, I found I could be a better, rejuvenated parent. AdvertisementI traded in my iPhone for a dumb phoneAfter a lot of hemming and hawing, I took the plunge and gave up my smartphone. My dumb phone has all the basic capabilities: calls, texts, even a GPS. Although I have a rational understanding of my switch to a dumb phone, I was sure my children would revolt, especially in the car. AdvertisementCarmella Guiol is the creator of Scroll Sanity, a newsletter and podcast about staying sane in a digital world.
Persons: , hemming, hawing, DJ Mama, journaling, I'm, shouldn't, Carmella Guiol Organizations: Service
If you're having trouble getting started, try this prompt: What is every emotion you've felt since you woke up today? To get yourself thinking, try this prompt: Write a letter to yourself one year ago today. Try this prompt: Pick an emotion and write a letter to them as if they were a real person. To get started, try this prompt: Think of someone you want to reconnect with. But my favorite is this prompt: Write yourself an encouraging note in your email and then schedule it for weeks away to get a pleasant surprise in your inbox.
Persons: I'd, who'd, you've, Amber Rae, It's Organizations: Service, Research, Journal Locations: New York City
When he started dating Pippy, at first, I felt unsettled by their closeness. It was from Pippy, Cole's girlfriend. But Cole's relationship with Pippy escalated more quickly than any of Cole's others, which left me unsettled. At one point, after the three of us struggled to navigate their escalating relationship, Pippy suggested she and I go for a walk. AdvertisementThis Valentine's Day, I'm more excited to celebrate my relationship with Pippy than I am to celebrate my 13th Valentine's Day with my husband.
Persons: , Cole shrugged, we're, Cole, Pippy, Valentine, she'd, Gowland, Bryan Barnett, That's, I'd, I've Organizations: Service Locations: Pippy, polyamory
Before I got pregnant, I'd never heard about mom rage. I want to speak out about mom rage to push back on that stigma. I spoke up about my rage that society told me I couldn't be a mom and career woman, rage that I cared what other people thought, rage that I had internalized the shame other people put on me. Trying to can fuel mom rage. Motherhood is full of seasons, and I suspect that all of them will come with a bit of mom rage.
Persons: , Lauren Cook, I'd, I've, Derek, it's, I'm Organizations: Service, Business
Dry January “was the perfect eye-opener.”Now sober, Montejano has adopted several tactics to keep herself on track: talking to a therapist, journaling and drinking nonalcoholic beverages like mocktails. By comparison, a 12-ounce glass of beer contains about 5% alcohol, according to the CDC. “The nonalcoholic beverages have a lot of the cues that are associated with real alcoholic beverages,” she said. “Are you reaching those goals with nonalcoholic beverages?” she said. Ultimately, going sober can have social ramifications, so it’s important to surround yourself with people who can support you.
Persons: Corrina Montejano, Montejano, , , Ginger Hultin, nonalcoholic, Hilary Sheinbaum, Molson Coors, ” Sheinbaum, Hultin, Dr, Lara Ray, Dana Ellis Hunnes, you’re, Hunnes, Ray, they’re, Sanjay Gupta, I’ve, ’ ”, “ You’ve, Journaling, ” Montejano Organizations: CNN, US Centers for Disease Control, Heineken, Molson, US Department of, Tobacco Tax, Trade Bureau, UCLA, World Health Organization, ” WHO, UCLA Medical Center, US Food and Drug Administration, mocktails, CNN Health Locations: San Francisco, Seattle
download the appSign up to get the inside scoop on today’s biggest stories in markets, tech, and business — delivered daily. Dr. Lindsay C. Gibson , a clinical psychologist specializing in emotionally immature parents , told Business Insider that one of the biggest challenges of breaking the cycle of abuse is taking your childhood pain seriously. She shared some of the common stages her clients go through, and why breaking the cycle is worth all the time, work, and effort it takes. She's had clients come into sessions where they told their parents how they really felt, without preparing beforehand. Once you get used to noticing how you feel and start demanding better for yourself, it will dramatically alter how you interact with people.
Persons: , you've, Lindsay C, Gibson, She's, lobbing Organizations: Service, Business
He joined his private access program, a paid educational platform for trading stocks, where he spent a year learning the content. The stock's price should pull back organically, meaning the volume parallel to the downward price move should be gradual. On a daily chart like the one above, it's based on the past nine days. If the stock's price doesn't fall below it or forms a support line, it signals that the price could likely retrace and increase. Instead of entering five to 10 trades daily, he now keeps it at two to three.
Persons: Goverdhan Gajjala, William O'Neil, Gajjala, Mark Minervini, It's, Minervini's, Norman Zadeh, Zadeh Organizations: Service, Investor's Business Daily, US, EMA, Health Intelligence Locations: Dallas
Gemmika Champion has been dating while sober for most of her adult life. AdvertisementShortly before 10 p.m. on a brisk Friday, Gemmika Champion and her date arrive at Brasil's, a Latin dance venue in Philadelphia's Old City neighborhood. Champion, a sober and single 29-year-old who views first dates as opportunities for fun and exploration, is in her element. "Getting sober, I built a better foundation for my understanding of who I am and what I want," Champion told BI. Setting boundaries with datesThough Champion is full of sober date ideas, she also doesn't mind meeting at bars or restaurants that serve alcohol.
Persons: , Gemmika, She's, doesn't, she's, lattes, it's Organizations: Service, Gallup Locations: Brasil's, Philadelphia's Old City, Philadelphia
All the 'Virgin River' books, in order
  + stars: | 2023-12-03 | by ( Esme Mazzeo | ) www.businessinsider.com   time to read: +22 min
While waiting for season six, here's the full list of books in the "Virgin River" series and the correct order to read them in. "Virgin River" (2007)"Virgin River" HarperCollins"Wanted: Midwife/nurse practitioner in Virgin River, population six hundred. "A Virgin River Christmas" (2008)"A Virgin River Christmas" HarperCollins"Last Christmas Marcie Sullivan said a final goodbye to her husband, Bobby. But the Sheridan and Riordan families have different plans for Patrick and Angie and for Christmas, Virgin River style!" "Return to Virgin River" (2020)"Return to Virgin River."
Persons: , Robyn Carr, Melinda Monroe, she's, Mel, , Sheridan, John, Middleton, Paige Lassiter, Semper Fidelis —, it's, Brie Sheridan, Mike Valenzuela, Virgin River's, Mike, Brie, Marcie Sullivan, Bobby, Ian Buchanan, Bobby's, Ian, Marcie, Ian doesn't, Virgin River, Vanessa Rutledge, Vanessa, Matt, Paul Haggerty, he's, Matt's, Paul, Shelby McIntyre, Luke Riordan, Shelby, Luke, Rick Sudder, Iraq —, Rick, Dan Brady, they'd, Nathaniel Jensen, Annie McCarty, Noah Kincaid, Noah, Ellie Baldwin, Ellie, Franci Duncan, Sean Riordan, Sean, — he's, Franci, Rosie, Erin Foley, Erin, Aiden Riordan, journaling, there's, Drew Foley, Sunny Archer, Sunny, Drew, Clay Tahoma, Lilly Yazhi, Lilly, There's, Clay, HarperCollins, Colin Riordan, Jillian Matlock, Jillian, Colin, Kelly, Kelly's, Lief Holbrook, Courtney, Becca Timm, Denny Cutler, Denny, Becca, Connor Danson, Leslie Petruso didn't, Connor, Leslie, Katie Malone, Katie doesn't, Dylan Childress, Dylan, Katie, Nora Crane, they've, harvesttime, Tom Cavanaugh, Nora doesn't, Nora, She's, Tom won't, Riordan, Patrick, Angie LeCroix, Jack Sheridan, she'd, Patrick Riordan, Angie, Kaylee Organizations: Netflix, Service, HarperCollins, California, Virgin, Virgin River, eBay, Bar, Marines, redwoods Locations: California, Virgin River, Virgin, Sacramento, Fallujah, Vanni, Paradise, Iraq, Los Angeles, , Jill's, San Francisco, LA, Kelly's, Redwood, Southern California
And these rising stars of the VC world are at the forefront of the trend, with many adopting various wellness routines. Business Insider asked this year's rising stars to name their best wellness hack that keeps them at the top of their game. Find ways to get movingMany rising stars in VC have a relationship with exercise that goes beyond an obligatory hour at the gym or a forced jog around the block. "It's amazing how taking just 10 minutes out of my day helps set the pace and structure for the rest of the day so well," she told Business Insider. she told Business Insider.
Persons: Base10, Justin Williams, Fiona Huang, Huang, Laura Bock, Amanda Herson, Taylor Brandt, Luci Fonseca, It's, Vivien Ho, VCs, journaling, Ashley Paston, Ahmed Mirza, who's, Amber Atherton, Brandon Hoffman, Tobi Coker, Wellington Management's Javier Grevely, Natalie Borowski, I've Organizations: Business, Seae Ventures, Ventures, Headline, Base10 Investors, Meritech, Sunset Ventures Locations: New York, Eastern, Brooklyn
A Tragedy, a Symphony, a Love Story
  + stars: | 2023-11-28 | by ( Mattie Kahn | ) www.nytimes.com   time to read: +2 min
The credits roll, but there is no neat ending for Ms. Jaouad and Mr. Batiste. “None of us know if we’re going to exist in the future, but I have a heightened fear of not existing in the future,” Ms. Jaouad said. Mr. Jones, who introduces himself to her as “Lil GQ,” read her columns while on death row. “It was unbelievable because we were talking in the future tense, knowing that the future wasn’t going to come to pass,” Ms. Jaouad said. A few weeks ago, Ms. Jaouad traveled to Seattle and was walking outside, suddenly under a torrential rain.
Persons: Jaouad, , ” Ms, , Batiste, Quintin Jones, Jones, Lil, , I’ll Organizations: Telluride Film Locations: Seattle, New York
Imagine waking up one morning and discovering that your financial circumstances have taken an extraordinary turn: you just received a huge financial windfall. As a MIT neuroscientist, I've always been fascinated by the intricate dance that occurs within the brain during these life-altering moments. Here are three remarkable things that happen to your brain when you unexpectedly receive a large sum of money overnight:1. As reality sinks in, bargaining could emerge, as the individual negotiates with themselves about how to manage the newfound wealth. Ultimately, acceptance can settle in, as the individual works through their changed reality and forges a path forward with their newfound wealth.
Persons: I've,
Joanna Franco, 31, quickly realized after she graduated from business school that no one job would tick all of her boxes. In early 2022, she created a media kit to help her negotiate higher rates with brands. Here's the exact two-page media kit Franco uses to negotiate with companies. Page 1 of Joanna Franco's media kit. Joanna FrancoThe second page of the media kit includes a detailed biography, including her email, websites, social-media audience, and other credentials.
Persons: Joanna Franco, Franco, She's, she's, Joanna Franco's, Jo, keynoted Organizations: YouTube, Business, LinkedIn, interning, Adobe Max, American Express, Samsung, Google, Netflix Locations: Brazil, New York, Instagram, Connecticut, Croatia, Mexico
Jeff Bezos' fiancee described the couple's morning routine in an interview with Vogue. It begins with coffee, and she uses a mug Bezos got her from Amazon. The mug says "Woke up sexy as hell again" on the side, she said. She revealed two key things (among others, admittedly): first, that Bezos uses his own product and shops on Amazon. Lauren Sánchez, who has been dating Bezos since at least 2019 when the couple went public, described their morning routine in the interview.
Persons: Jeff Bezos, , Bezos, Lauren Sánchez, Sánchez Organizations: Vogue, Service, Amazon
We hear a lot about how gratitude journals can help foster gratefulness and improve overall well-being, but a twist on the daily practice of journaling can lead us to happiness too, experts say. "One of the exercises that I ask my students to do, to undertake over the course of my class in happiness, is to understand what their pain means," said social scientist Arthur C. Brooks during The Atlantic Festival in September. "I ask them to keep a pain journal," said Brooks who is also a professor who teaches about happiness at Harvard University. DON'T MISS: Make this small change to be happier today, says director of 85-year Harvard happiness studyBrooks encourages people to grab a notebook and use it to track the lessons they've learned from painful experiences that have led to positive outcomes. Here's how you can use a pain journal to learn from your own challenges in life.
Persons: Arthur C, Brooks, they've Organizations: The, Festival, Harvard University, DON'T, Harvard
How to cope with a loved one’s suicide
  + stars: | 2023-09-30 | by ( Kristen Rogers | ) edition.cnn.com   time to read: +11 min
Alexandra felt safe talking to him about anything, she said, and he made their son laugh so hard by singing and dancing. Alexandra knew Shawn had once contemplated suicide earlier in life, but he said he’d never do it. Letting go of self-blameAnother critical lesson was that Shawn’s suicide was about him, not her, Alexandra said — that what happened was not her fault or something she alone could have prevented. Journaling helped her recognize thinking patterns and emotional barriers, while support groups with others who lost a loved one to suicide gave her community. Alexandra WymanNow Alexandra has more good days than bad ones, and that masseuse she saw has said her light has started to return.
Persons: Alexandra, Shawn Wyman, , , ” Shawn, Alexandra Wyman, Shawn, ” Alexandra, Alexandra Wyman Shawn, , , Michael Roeske, “ It’s, he’d, can’t, Justin Baker, Alexandra couldn’t, wouldn’t, isn’t, It’s, Shawn didn’t, Baker, she’d, life’s, , Journaling, I’ve, they’re, ” Baker, “ I’m, Shawn’s, ‘ You’re, I’m Organizations: Lifeline, CNN, US Navy, Sunday, Newport Healthcare Center for Research & Innovation, Initiative, Veterans, Ohio State, Wexner Medical Locations: Colorado, Newport, shouldn’t
After years of putting her mental health second to her career, she's prioritizing her well-being. Now that I'm financially able to take a break, I've decided to take a gap year in my 30s. Here's why I've made this decision and how I'm going to make it happen. I'm going to embrace ethical and slow travelI'm planning to visit Chile, Argentina, Bolivia, and Ecuador. I'm going to strive to regain the Spanish fluency I've lost over the past few years, meditate daily, and get outside every day.
Persons: Taryn Williams, would've, I'm, I've, Dunkin, it's, journaling Organizations: Service Locations: Alaska, South America, Wall, Silicon, Airbnbs, Chile, Argentina, Bolivia, Ecuador, Antarctica
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