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☆ I was laid off from Deloitte after I struggled to fit in. My coworkers wore burnout like a badge of honor, and I had to dim my personality.
▼ + stars: | 2024-09-09 | by ( Tess Martinelli | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +12 min

When I received a call from a Deloitte representative saying I'd landed a post-grad job as an actuarial analyst, I was ecstatic. But I didn't feel like there was space to express my femininity. I honestly didn't feel like there was a way to thrive in a more masculine environment without entirely abandoning my femininity, so I tucked away my spiritual, bubbly side. AdvertisementI didn't feel safe confiding in anyone about my workload concerns because everyone around me seemed to wear their burnout as a badge of honor. My superiors encourage me to leave work at work and I finally have time to nourish my hobbies and relationships.

Persons: —, Cierra Desmaratti, It's, I'd, That's, hadn't, Deloitte's, I've, Tess Martinelli Organizations: Service, Deloitte, Business, North Central College, Deloitte's Chicago, International Association of Black Actuaries, Transamerica, Big Locations: Miami, Naperville , Illinois, Deloitte's, Chicago, Transamerica, tmartinelli

☆ The 4 best strategies Kamala Harris uses to handle being interrupted, according to a professional speaker
▼ + stars: | 2024-08-30 | by ( Tess Martinelli | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +5 min

As a leadership speaker and expert on workplace confidence, I've spent decades analyzing the best techniques for garnering attention and communicating effectively. Pointed eye contact can force the interrupter to acknowledge youWhen interrupted by Mike Pence during the 2020 Vice Presidential debate, Harris turned her attention to Pence and made pointed eye contact with him. She didn't shrink away from the interaction or internalize his disruption; rather her eye contact demonstrated authority, confidence, and control over the situation. Related storiesMaking eye contact with someone who's been dismissive of you demands their attention and forces them to acknowledge you. Harris uses this strategic repetition to highlight just how many times she's been interrupted or disrespected.

Persons: —, Selena Rezvani, It's, I've, Kamala Harris, Harris, Mike Pence, she's, Pence, who's, they're, Tess Martinelli Organizations: Service, Business Locations: Philadelphia, tmartinelli

☆ I'm a matchmaker for ultrawealthy men and charge up to $350K for my services. I give all my clients the same advice.
▼ + stars: | 2024-08-23 | by ( Tess Martinelli | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +8 min

Many people are shocked when I tell them my clients pay $350,000 for my matchmaking services. The service was built exclusively for accomplished professional men looking for women. My ultra-high-net-worth clients expect my undivided attentionOne commonality between most of my clients is the urgency for immediate results. When I charged less for my services, my clients engaged with me more passively but expected the same results. AdvertisementMy advice for high-earning men looking for loveThe first thing I tell high-earning men looking for love is to throw your physical type out the window.

Persons: —, Christiana Maxion, It's, I'm, I, didn't, they're, I've, they'll, that's, you've, Tess Martinelli Organizations: Service, Business, Cinqe Locations: Dubai, UAE, tmartinelli

☆ I quit my job at Meta and traveled to Bali to find myself — but 2 months later, I moved back into my parents' house more confused than ever.
▼ + stars: | 2024-08-13 | by ( Tess Martinelli | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +7 min

Read previewThis as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Simone Landis, a 29-year-old from San Francisco who quit her job at Meta. In the fall of 2022, I quit my job and booked a flight to Bali in pursuit of my very own Eat, Pray, Love experience. AdvertisementMy events job at Meta was tough to transition onlineI started working at Meta in the fall of 2019 within its global security department. Related storiesI quit my job and flew to BaliI quit my job at Meta in the fall of 2022, didn't renew my lease, and booked a two-month trip to Bali. Now, I'm working more hours and taking on more responsibility and creative liberties.

Persons: —, Simone Landis, It's, I'd, Bali I, I'm, it's, Tess Martinelli, tmartinelli@businessinsider.com Organizations: Service, Meta, Business Locations: San Francisco, Bali, Bay, Meta

☆ I've dated tech bros who treat dating like they're working on a startup. Once I found the right one, we applied this mindset to improve our relationship.
▼ + stars: | 2024-08-11 | by ( Tess Martinelli | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +6 min

Read previewThis as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Maggie Zheng, a 26-year-old from Arizona who works for a tech startup. While it's difficult and unfair to generalize an entire group of people, my experience dating tech bros certainly matches the phrase. I've learned a lot from my peers about how to apply a tech mindset to my relationship in a healthy way. My fiance and I both use our tech mindset to help our relationshipI've taken notes from my peers and even started applying them to my relationship. They were pretty normal things like meeting each other's parents and going on vacations, but applying a tech mindset helped us feel confident, structured, and on the same page.

Persons: —, Maggie Zheng, I've, There's, You'll, — we're, Tess Martinelli, tmartinelli@businessinsider.com Organizations: Service, Business, Tech Locations: Arizona

☆ I took a job in New Zealand after my life turned upside down. I love it here, but the pay isn't sustainable.
▼ + stars: | 2024-08-04 | by ( Tess Martinelli | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +6 min

Read previewThis as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Camille Fahrnbauer, a 26-year-old travel nurse from Georgia currently working in New Zealand. Travel nursing in the US was debilitating. So when my husband left me unexpectedly and my life flipped upside down, I took a nursing job in New Zealand. AdvertisementFor a fresh start, I signed a year-long nursing contract in New ZealandI'd been travel nursing across the West Coast for three years when I started feeling a pull to nurse abroad. Dubai is at the top of my list because it's reported to have a great work-life balance and solid pay.

Persons: —, Camille Fahrnbauer, It's, I've, I'd, we're, I'm, Tess Martinelli, tmartinelli@businessinsider.com Organizations: Service, Business, West Coast, Facebook Locations: Georgia, New Zealand, West, Auckland, Dubai

☆ I walked away from a dream six-figure UX job where I felt disrespected. Now I freelance and have no regrets.
▼ + stars: | 2024-08-02 | by ( Tess Martinelli | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +8 min

Read previewThis as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Eleni Trapp, a 26-year-old UX designer from Florida who left her corporate job to freelance. Now, I'm a freelance UX designer who gets to write my own rules. As a UX designer, my job would be to transition their brick-and-mortar business into the digital landscape. I knew I wouldn't be happy settling into another corporate job so I decided to take a chance on freelancing. AdvertisementI'm building a space to channel my feminine rageAs I continue to freelance, I'm also building a business I'm endlessly passionate about.

Persons: —, Eleni Trapp, It's, I'm, hadn't, I'd, wasn't, I've, Trapp, Tess Martinelli Organizations: Service, Business, LinkedIn Locations: Florida, tmartinelli@insider.com

☆ My boss and I were good friends. Then I got laid off.
▼ + stars: | 2024-07-25 | by ( Tess Martinelli | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +4 min

Read previewThis as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Angelica Miller, a 31-year-old recruiter from Arizona who was recently laid off. My last boss and I were friends. We became friends instantlyBefore she became my boss, she was my peer. My coworkers and boss have been nothing but kind to me, but I can't help but feel skeptical of their authenticity. I don't have any regrets about being friends with my boss, but I definitely won't do it again.

Persons: —, Angelica Miller, It's, I've, I'd, it's, Miller, Tess Martinelli, tmartinelli@businessinsider.com Organizations: Service, Business Locations: Arizona, California

☆ My partner grew up rich, and I didn't. We almost broke up over my insecurities, but compassion and honesty have gotten us through.
▼ + stars: | 2024-07-21 | by ( Tess Martinelli | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +7 min

download the appSign up to get the inside scoop on today’s biggest stories in markets, tech, and business — delivered daily. Read previewThis as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Geneviève Laforce, a 24-year-old content creator from Montreal, whose partner grew up wealthy. We've learned that managing a relationship with someone who grew up so differently requires constant compassion and open communication. I've been able to broaden her worldview and provoke a deeper sense of compassion for those who are struggling. If money complicates your relationship and you want to tell your story, please email Tess Martinelli at tmartinelli@businessinsider.com.

Persons: —, Geneviève Laforce, It's, We've, isn't, I've, she's, They've, Tess Martinelli Organizations: Service, Business Locations: Montreal, tmartinelli@businessinsider.com

☆ I saved $1,000 a month when I cut alcohol. The emotional and physical tax was just as expensive.
▼ + stars: | 2024-07-18 | by ( Tess Martinelli | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +5 min

I spent up to $2,000 a month to fund a drinking habit that I believed was helping me. I started drinking in college to soothe my anxietyI'll never forget the first time I got drunk. Every extra dime went to funding my drinking habitsRent took up most of my paycheck, but the rest went directly to drinking. Related storiesAfter a year of deeply contemplating sobriety, I took my final sip of alcohol in October 2021. Cutting out alcohol and the sneakily expensive lifestyle that surrounded me saves me $1,000 a month.

Persons: —, Katie Butler, It's, I'm, Uber, would've, Tess Martinelli Organizations: Service, Business Locations: Dallas, tmartinelli@businessinsider.com

☆ The dark side of double dipping: 3 people juggling multiple full-time jobs share how they do it
▼ + stars: | 2024-07-16 | by ( Tess Martinelli | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +6 min

Read previewThe pay and benefits of a full-time job aren't always enough to sustain an employee's lifestyle and monetary goals. From 9-to-5, she worked a remote marketing job, and from 5 to 10, she worked a low-lift customer service job. AdvertisementIn September 2022, she left her full-time job and created a job-juggling system to avoid legal and professional consequences. If it ever does come up, I make it seem like the dates overlap less than they did," McGill told BI. AdvertisementDespite the risky overlaps and long hours, McGill said she was happy with her choice.

Persons: —, aren't, Jane, I've, Kendall McGill, McGill, didn't, We've, Davrick Hayes, Hayes, Tess Martinelli, tmartinelli@businessinsider.com Organizations: Service, Business, BI, Apple, McGill Locations: LA, North Dakota

☆ I've been a recruiter for the corporate elite for 25 years. These 10 mistakes can cost even the most brilliant candidate their dream job.
▼ + stars: | 2024-07-12 | by ( Deepali Vyas | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +8 min

Read previewAfter nearly 25 years of headhunting for the corporate elite, I've seen it all. But I've seen too many candidates rest on their laurels, assuming their existing Rolodex (yes, some still have those) is enough. I've seen it happen, and it's not pretty. I've seen candidates lowball themselves out of insecurity, and others demand outrageous packages out of hubris. I've seen candidates ghost companies after multiple rounds of interviews or respond poorly to rejection.

Persons: —, I've, they're, it's, I'm, Skip, you'll, It's, today's, Deepali Vyas, Tess Martinelli, tmartinelli@businessinsider.com Organizations: Service, Business, Google

☆ I was laid off unexpectedly with a baby at home. As a single parent, I was devastated, but it was a blessing in disguise.
▼ + stars: | 2024-07-10 | by ( Tess Martinelli | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +6 min

Read previewThis as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Angelica Miller, a 31-year-old recruiter from Arizona who was recently laid off. I knew that being a single mom would be tough, but I was determined to create a stable home for my son no matter what. I'd been working as a recruiter for an equipment rental company for only a few months when I found out I was pregnant, and I was grateful that they were so supportive. AdvertisementI was absolutely devastated when I was laid offOne morning, my boss pinged me to have a quick chat. If you were unexpectedly laid off and want to share your story, please email Tess Martinelli at tmartinelli@gmail.com.

Persons: —, Angelica Miller, It's, he'd, I'd, pinged, Tess Martinelli Organizations: Service, Business, LinkedIn Locations: Arizona, tmartinelli@gmail.com

☆ 3 high-earners share when they knew it was time to quit their 6-figure jobs: 'It was literally driving me to the edge'
▼ + stars: | 2024-07-05 | by ( Tess Martinelli | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +6 min

Business Insider spoke with three high-earners who left their six-figure jobs to save their mental health. It wasn't until his boss seriously questioned his work output that Yu made a pledge to himself to quit tech. Yu quit his job after brainstorming alternative income streams with his then-girlfriend (who became his fiancé), Wanda, and settling on house hacking. A year after quitting, he shared that his mental health improved, and he was ready to reenter the workforce. If you quit your job due to mental health concerns and would like to tell your story, email Tess Martinelli at tmartinelli@businessinsider.com.

Persons: —, Jean Kang, Kang, she'd, Eric Yu, Long, Yu, Wanda, He's, Tess Martinelli Organizations: Service, Business, Big, Big Tech, Facebook, Meta, McKinsey Locations: Big Tech, tmartinelli@businessinsider.com

☆ Gen Z workers vs. millennial bosses: 'Having high expectations and wanting work-life balance and an employer who cares isn't a bad thing'
▼ + stars: | 2024-06-30 | by ( Tess Martinelli | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +8 min

For example, some millennials who manage Gen Zers face the unique challenge of weighing their corporate conditioning against more progressive ideals. Courtesy of Maya PennSome people say that Gen Z's eclectic style is unprofessional, but 24-year-old Maya Penn said Gen Z is simply embracing authenticity. Another tool she's implemented is adopting a softer approach to giving feedback after she noticed her Gen Z employees were interpreting her initial approach as criticism. Despite the challenges of leading Gen Z, this manager said the younger generation has taught her to prioritize her personal life. "Some people complain that they're hard to work with, but having high expectations and wanting work-life balance and an employer who cares isn't a bad thing," Tooker told BI.

Persons: —, Zers, they've, Piper Hansen, Hansen, Zers who've, she's, Kim Schewitz, Gen Z, Zer, Schewitz, you'll, Gen, Maya Penn, Penn, It's, I've, Hannah Tooker, Mitchell Sauve Hannah Tooker, Tooker, They've, Z, Tess Martinelli, tmartinelli@businessinsider.com Organizations: Service, Business, YMCA, BI, Penn

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