If you want to be happy in life, especially as you age, "you have to look at other things besides dreams." Instead, it can mean reorienting yourself towards finding joy in small things, in what you can control and in wanting what you already have. But the work can pay off: Positivity is linked to a longer and healthier life. Small things delight her on a daily basis: Listening to books on tape, taking careful walks, old movies on TV, a scoop of ice cream after dinner. She reminds herself that "everyone has things that don't work out," and that what matters is resilience — being "capable of adjusting your thoughts and dreams."

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Persons: Shirley Hodes, Hodes, who's, Ruth Sweedler, Hodes didn't, didn't, couldn't, doesn't Organizations: CNBC Locations: North Carolina