But I said nothing at first — I was too lost in thoughts, visions of ultrasounds, doctors, and grief. Because I'm 37 — which is considered an advanced maternal age — I had an ultrasound at eight weeks. I wasn't prepared for the grief of my second miscarriageI learned then that preparation does absolutely nothing to protect you from the devastation you feel in this situation. "Advanced maternal age" kept echoing in my mind — a term that feels like a verdict, a reminder that time is not on my side. Fear of the unknown, fear of the challenges that come with being an older mother, fear of facing another loss.

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Persons: —, would've, wasn't, I'd, who'd Organizations: Service, Business