The purpose of therapy is to understand and resolve the many ways the parent relationship affected someone — and to understand the complicated person the parent is and why they may have acted in a way that created such pain. Part of healthy maturity and resilience is to be able to manage complicated relationships and not see people as either good or bad, but some mix. So much is embedded in the unconscious that without looking at oneself, rather than just blaming the other person, the child is more likely to repeat unhealthy patterns going forward. To the Editor:Encouraging family cutoffs, as described in this article, has been practiced by some therapists for a long time, even though it’s getting more attention now. It reflects a growing culture of hyper-individualism in which family bonds become disposable when they involve personal pain.

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Persons: Ellen Barry, Patrick Teahan’s, Laurie Levi Merion, it’s Organizations: Science Times Locations: Pa