Slow moving, slow talking, with a melancholy sense of humor, my lover was in many ways my ideal of a man. So when we were told to imitate a man in my drag king workshop, he was the person who came to mind. A drag king workshop is what you might imagine: a gathering of women who want to learn how to dress and behave like men for performance. “We start with the imitation,” she said, “then we go deeper.”Leaning back slowly in my chair, I pictured myself as my lover, a cisgender man, talking to a woman dressed to receive him as I always have: pretty dress, light makeup, underwear off as a little surprise. But the expansion in my body felt great — the open legs, arms and gestures — suggesting how much I usually compressed myself.

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