In what may seem like a small, everyday exchange, her friend’s reaction was an important indicator for their relationship: She had responded to Caribardi’s “bid for connection,” a term coined by relationship experts at the Gottman Institute in Seattle. Whether the bid is big or small doesn’t matter — what is important is the other person’s response, Schwartz Gottman said. How to recognize a ‘bid for connection’The basis of “bids for connection” stems from the Gottmans’ “Love Lab” research, which started in 1986 and tracked couples for six years. Schwartz Gottman said this test is a good example of the importance of “turning toward” a partner, one of the three responses someone can have to a bid. Schwartz Gottman recommends communicating those feelings directly and honestly to the partner, instead of lashing out with a “turning against” response.

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Persons: CNN —, Alyssa Caribardi, Caribardi, Caribardi’s, ”, Julie Schwartz Gottman, John Gottman, Schwartz Gottman, Leander, ” Caribardi, that’s, “, Schwartz, Lauren Fogel Mersy, Fogel Mersy, ” Fogel Mersy, it’s, ” Schwartz Gottman Organizations: CNN, Gottman Institute, Partners Locations: Seattle, Texas, ”, Minnesota