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☆ How ‘bids for connection’ can make or break a relationship
▼ + stars: | 2024-06-24 | by ( Taylor Nicioli | ) edition.cnn.com time to read: +6 min

In what may seem like a small, everyday exchange, her friend’s reaction was an important indicator for their relationship: She had responded to Caribardi’s “bid for connection,” a term coined by relationship experts at the Gottman Institute in Seattle. Whether the bid is big or small doesn’t matter — what is important is the other person’s response, Schwartz Gottman said. How to recognize a ‘bid for connection’The basis of “bids for connection” stems from the Gottmans’ “Love Lab” research, which started in 1986 and tracked couples for six years. Schwartz Gottman said this test is a good example of the importance of “turning toward” a partner, one of the three responses someone can have to a bid. Schwartz Gottman recommends communicating those feelings directly and honestly to the partner, instead of lashing out with a “turning against” response.

Persons: CNN —, Alyssa Caribardi, Caribardi, Caribardi’s, ”, Julie Schwartz Gottman, John Gottman, Schwartz Gottman, Leander, ” Caribardi, that’s, “, Schwartz, Lauren Fogel Mersy, Fogel Mersy, ” Fogel Mersy, it’s, ” Schwartz Gottman Organizations: CNN, Gottman Institute, Partners Locations: Seattle, Texas, ”, Minnesota

☆ We've studied over 30,000 couples—here are 6 phrases you'll hear in the most successful relationships
▼ + stars: | 2024-01-30 | by ( Dr. John Gottman | Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman | ) www.cnbc.com time to read: +2 min

We've organized our suggestions into six categories of phrases and what kind of repair they help with. These are tried-and-true phrases for calming down an escalated conflict, pulled from years of observation of over 30,000 couples:1. "I feel"Use this when you need help expressing your emotions in the moment. "I need to calm down"Use this when you start feeling flooded and/or need a moment of repair. "I'm sorry"Use this when you need help phrasing an apology.

Persons: we've

☆ The No. 1 thing we 'never ever' do to have a successful relationship: 2 married psychologists who studied 40,000 couples
▼ + stars: | 2023-05-20 | by ( Dr. John Gottman | Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman | ) www.cnbc.com time to read: +2 min

In that time, they have studied more than 40,000 couples to learn about love. As psychologists, we've studied more than 40,000 couples about to begin couples therapy. We've also been happily married to each other for 35 years, so we know a thing or two about how to build a successful, long-lasting relationship. Still, there is one thing we've learned to never ever do: fight when we are emotionally flooded. These behaviors can harm both your partner's trust in you and the foundations of your relationship.

☆ Here's the No. 1 thing successful couples never do, say psychologists: It can 'destroy a relationship'
▼ + stars: | 2023-04-28 | by ( Dr. John Gottman | Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman | ) www.cnbc.com time to read: +1 min

In our 50 years working as psychologists, we've studied more than 40,000 partners about to start couples therapy. Ultimately, we've found that there's one thing successful couples never do: take each other for granted. A lack of appreciation can destroy a relationshipSaying "thank you" helps, but building a culture of appreciation requires much more than that. They focus on everything that their partner is doing wrong and criticize each other for it. When couples caught in this negative spiral, the relationship breakers that we call the "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" come galloping.

☆ The secret to having successful relationships and being a superstar manager comes down to 2 words
▼ + stars: | 2023-01-26 | by ( Natasha Piñon | ) www.cnbc.com time to read: +2 min

Psychologists Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, who studied 40,000 couples, found those simple words were the No. For starters, saying "thank you" is good for your health — no matter the context. In his 2022 book "Say Thank You for Everything: The Secrets of Being a Great Manager," Edwards outlines 19 things every new manager needs to learn — and saying "thank you" is the kicker. Two out of every three workers surveyed said their manager could improve at giving in-the-moment, positive feedback. Managers can start by saying "thank you" for small, everyday tasks.

☆ Here’s the No. 1 phrase used in successful relationships, say psychologists who studied 40,000 couples
▼ + stars: | 2023-01-20 | by ( Dr. John Gottman | Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman | ) www.cnbc.com time to read: +3 min

As psychologists, we've studied more than 40,000 partners about to begin couples therapy. We've also been happily married to each other for 35 years, so we know a thing or two about successful relationships. You can tell your partner you're observing them to get a better sense of their day, and everything they do. Step 2: Say "thank you." Tell them why that small thing is a big deal to you: "Thank you for making the coffee every morning.

As psychologists, we've studied more than 40,000 couples about to begin couples therapy. We've also been married to each other for 35 years, so we know a thing or two about successful relationships. One of the biggest determining factors was how often a couple "turned toward" their partner instead of "turning away." 1 relationship hack: 'Turning toward'When a couple turns toward each other, they make and respond to what we call "bids for connection." How to practice turning toward in your relationshipIf you feel like turning toward has faded from your relationship — don't worry.

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