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☆ I used to trauma dump on my dates because alcohol made me lose control of my emotions. Sobriety saved my dating life.
▼ + stars: | 2024-10-15 | by ( Jamie Valentino | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +5 min

When I realized my drinking was the problem, I got sober, and it saved my dating life. I used to struggle to stop my mouth from outrunning my brain, spilling my life story and everything that kept me up at night — especially when it came to trauma dumping on dates. Related storiesI blamed trauma dumping on my personality rather than my excessive drinkingIt felt embarrassing to present myself as a dumpster of emotional turmoil, especially as a writer. Last year, my drunk trauma dumping reached a pathetic climax when I began pouring my heart out about being an alcoholic. Even from thousands of miles away, it felt more intimate than the few face-to-face dates we had while I was drinking.

Persons: —, might've, should've, I should've, I've Organizations: Service Locations: Miami, New York

☆ Woman Was Scammed Out of Over $300K, Had to Lie to Family
▼ + stars: | 2024-08-29 | by ( Jane Zhang | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +16 min

After I told him I didn't know any of them, he said they'd investigate and help me clear my name. But because I was a suspect, I needed to send daily updates about my whereabouts and activities to ensure I didn't flee. He agreed the next day but said I needed to send money for collateral to ensure I didn't escape while he was representing me. I feel like I'm the scammer because I scammed my family, in a sense, by lying to them. But it said sometimes clients neglect warnings, lie about the purposes of withdrawals, and proceed with the transactions anyway.

Persons: Wannapa Suprasert, I'd, Wannapa, they'd, scammers, —, didn't, I'm, they're, haven't, Suprasert Organizations: Thai Embassy, police, Thai Consulate, Central Investigation Bureau, Thai, Hong Kong, Bank of, FBI, San Francisco police, Bank of America, Business, Bank, Royal Thai Embassy Locations: Thailand, San Francisco, Washington , DC, Bangkok, Washington ,, American, LA, Hong, Hong Kong

☆ I spent 3 days hiking Big Bend. The famous national park had some cool views, but I'd never go back.
▼ + stars: | 2024-07-14 | by ( Isobella Jade | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +6 min

Read previewWhen my fiancé said he had a few days off from work at the end of May, we quickly planned a trip to Big Bend National Park. I hadn't realized just how massive Big Bend National Park would feel at 1,200 square miles of land or just how spread out its landmarks were. In Big Bend, temperatures can hit 100 degrees Fahrenheit by late morning in May. Many find Big Bend to be paradise, but I'm not sure it was for meThe Balanced Rock is a famous photo opportunity in Big Bend. I learned Big Bend is not a park where one can just "wing it."

Persons: —, Jade, hadn't, Ross Maxwell, I'd, Isobella Jade, it's, I'm, Big, we'd Organizations: Service, Big, Business Locations: Big Bend, Rio Grande, Houston, Santa, Rio, Mexico, Santa Elena, Texas

☆ Dating in Silicon Valley is hard. I want to be married and have kids, but Big Tech is holding me back.
▼ + stars: | 2024-07-10 | by ( Robin Madell | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +7 min

I work at a FAANG tech company and have been an employee and manager at three other Big Tech firms over the last 10 years. Working in Big Tech has taken a major toll on my dating and personal life. Now that I'm more interested in dating, I'm finding it very difficult. Related storiesReturning to the office meant my dating life was suddenly limited to one geographical area, and my previous dating plans went kaput. Is your Big Tech job affecting your dating life?

Persons: —, I, I'd, I've, I'm, haven't, Lauryn Haas Organizations: Service, Big Tech, Business, Amazon, lhaas@businessinsider.com Locations: Silicon Valley, East, New York, West Coast, Boston, Bay

☆ I just finished my freshman year at Yale. I'm worried I didn't make deep, long-lasting friendships.
▼ + stars: | 2024-06-07 | by ( Miles Kirkpatrick | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +3 min

download the appSign up to get the inside scoop on today’s biggest stories in markets, tech, and business — delivered daily. While some people tried to find their lifelong friends immediately, most of the people I met at college joked about how ridiculous that expectation was. It's also hard to ignore the role social media plays in creating the impression that everyone has more and better friendships. AdvertisementGood friendships take time to find and growI've probably met over 100 people I could see as potential lifelong friends. Between the people I've made in my residential college, improv group, moot court team, political union, and just wandering around campus, I've probably met my best friends already.

Persons: —, I've, It's Organizations: Service, Yale, Business, Metro Locations: New York City, New York

☆ Why Wall Street is transfixed by a BofA banker's untimely death
▼ + stars: | 2024-05-08 | by ( Reed Alexander | Emmalyse Brownstein | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +9 min

The untimely death of a 35-year-old Bank of America associate has sparked a conversation across Wall Street over working conditions. "And to at least just start having those conversations as to how they can make junior bankers work life much better because it's been long overdue. At BofA, 100-plus hour weeks logged by junior bankers aren't unusual, said current and former employees, who questioned whether the firm's system for flagging excessive amounts of work was actually effective. But some junior bankers felt dismayed by an apparent lack of written communication from bank leaders about the incident, this person added. Crushing exhaustion, heightened demandsThe former BofA investment-banking analyst, who was not on Lukenas' team, quit in 2023 after two years.

Persons: Leo Lukenas III, BofA, Lukenas, it's, Goldman Sachs, Lukenas —, —, UMB, Christopher Perkins, Perkins, Les Lukenas, Green, Leo, Reed Alexander, Emmalyse Organizations: Service, of America, Wall, Army, Green Beret, Special Forces, Reuters, New York Office, Business, Bank of America, Investment, Goldman, Heartland Financial, Inc, FIG, Citigroup, Veterans, BI, LinkedIn, Green Berets, Army Special Forces Locations: BofA, London, Wall, ebrownstein@businessinsider.com

☆ I was fired from a new job in less than a week after I started. It taught me not every opportunity is a good opportunity.
▼ + stars: | 2024-05-03 | by ( Sarah Dolezal | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +7 min

Read previewThis as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Calli Nguyen, a 24-year-old social media marketer from Baton Rouge, LA, about getting fired after less than one week of work. I now feel that getting fired after less than a week of employment was a blessing in disguise. The experience taught me that not every opportunity is a good opportunity. Afterall, I did list my social media marketing skills on my résumé. AdvertisementMy boss wanted her social media marketing to look a certain way: showcasing stock photos of attractive women with outdated fonts.

Persons: —, Calli Nguyen, It's, I've, Afterall, Ma'am, Z, it's, doesn't Organizations: Service, Business Locations: Baton Rouge , LA

☆ I hate cottage cheese but I tried stirring it into my meals for an extra dose of protein. I felt my gym performance improve.
▼ + stars: | 2024-04-24 | by ( Julia Pugachevsky | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +7 min

AdvertisementWhen I was a kid, my parents had me try cottage cheese. AdvertisementI made the TikTok-viral high-protein pasta sauce firstSome of the most popular recipes involve blending cottage cheese with your pasta sauce of choice. The eggs improved my gains in the gymI whisked eggs, cottage cheese, salt, and pepper before adding everything to the skillet. AdvertisementJulia PugachevskyIn a blender, I added the cottage cheese, protein powder, cocoa powder, tahini, oats, and almond milk. Eating this felt like a punishment, but I don't want to slander poor cottage cheese: she did no wrong here.

Persons: I've, It's, TikTok, —, TikToks, Julia Pugachevsky, Parmesan, skillet, Julia Pugachevsky I've Organizations: Service

☆ When my son went to college, I wanted to track his phone, but my husband didn't. After a lot of fighting, we compromised.
▼ + stars: | 2024-04-18 | by ( Liz Alterman | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +5 min

Read previewWhen my oldest son, Sam, joined his high school baseball team, I began tracking his location through Find My Friends on my iPhone. my husband asked. AdvertisementI finally asked my son what he'd preferI realized I should've asked Sam how he felt about it first. I told Rich that if Sam didn't have a problem with it, neither should he. It's not something I check regularly, and if my son asked me to stop, I would.

Persons: —, Sam, hadn't, Rich, we'd, they'd, I'd, aren't, Life360, he'd, Sam didn't, He'd, didn't, he's Organizations: Service, Business

☆ I put off having kids and prioritized my career instead. Now as an older parent, I wish I'd done things differently.
▼ + stars: | 2024-03-14 | by ( Jen Glantz | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +6 min

We decided to put off having children until we were both licensed clinical psychologists. I ended up getting pregnant naturally with my first child, but my second child was through IVF. Having kids in my late 30s was harder than I imaginedI wish I had frozen my eggs earlier. If you want to have kids at any point, set yourself up for successBefore having kids, ensure you have a strong support system, including the people around you and your habits. AdvertisementKids are expensive and it helps if you use the time leading up to having children to grow your financial health and set up your career.

Persons: Leslie Dobson, Dobson, —, couldn't, should've, wouldn't Organizations: Service Locations: Hawaii

☆ After a 5-month-long 401(k) rollover process, a financial professional told me I should've asked 2 questions before even starting — and explained when it makes sense to keep your money separate
▼ + stars: | 2024-02-11 | by ( Kathleen Elkins | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +5 min

From start to finish, it took me five months to combine my retirement money into one account. Before moving your retirement money, consider the investment options at your current plan (or plans if you have multiple accounts) and the new plan. “The average 401(k) plan only has about 15 to 20 investment options, so we want to look at those options: ‘Are they good? The main ones to look into are plan administration fees, individual service fees, and investment fees. Your employer is required to provide you with information on the company 401(k) plan, including the fee structure.

Persons: Brent Weiss, Weiss, that's, ”, “, you’re, — Organizations: Fidelity, Vanguard, Business

☆ TikTok's Lunden and Olivia Stallings are straight people's favorite lesbian couple. What do they owe queer fans?
▼ + stars: | 2024-01-25 | by ( Kate Taylor | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +29 min

Lunden and Olivia told me their mission as influencers was to "represent and inspire others to be their authentic self." Advertisement"I did feel represented by them," Asia said, but the tweets "showed me that they are still white women." "We are especially confident in our sexuality and the way that we feel and who we are," Olivia told me. Lunden and Olivia told me they want to advocate for all LGBTQ+ people, including those who don't look like them. It's a chance, the couple told me, to combat the hate and negativity LGBTQ+ parents face.

Persons: Lunden Stallings, Olivia Bennett, Monique Lhuillier, Lunden, Taylor Swift, Stallings, David Yurman, preppy, Olivia, TikTok, Kendrick Brinson, who's, you've, Madison Mathews, sunnies, peck, they'd, Brooklynites, Remington, Zeta Tau, Olivia DMed Lunden —, Justin Bieber, snapbacks, haven't, Lunden's, Ellie Goulding's, Olivia couldn't, Caroline Bayne, Lunden's TikTok, Zara, Mercedes, Sophie, It's, Jackie J, Jackie, There's, Bud Light, Dylan Mulvaney, influencers, They've, KenzKustomz, Krysten Stein, Black influencers, Stein, Hill, millennials Organizations: Naylor, People, Business, Alabama, Chevrolet, New York Post, Daily Mail, Madison, University of Central, Jacksonville State University, Zeta Tau Alpha, University of Alabama's, University, Minnesota, BI, Braves, Rover, Pride, Nielsen, Saks, University of Illinois Locations: Roswell , Georgia, Asia, Olivia, Charleston, LoveShackFancy, Powder Springs , Georgia, Atlanta, Blytheville , Arkansas, University of Central Arkansas, Alabama, Roswell, Austin, RushTok, Alpharetta, Charleston , South Carolina, Southern, Publix, Fayetteville , Arkansas, University of Illinois Chicago

☆ I lost over 120 pounds on the keto diet, but it destroyed my relationship with food
▼ + stars: | 2024-01-23 | by ( Jennifer Still | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +4 min

Read previewI started following the keto diet in 2018, and I lost more than 120 pounds in just under a year. I still track my calories daily, but it's easy to take it too far. ShutterstockBecause the keto diet is so restrictive, I would do really well for a while and then inevitably binge when I couldn't handle it anymore. AdvertisementI missed out on healthy, whole foods that weren't keto-friendlyThe keto diet cuts out a lot of foods with good health benefits. I subscribed to the keto 'hive mind' that ignored plenty of scienceMany who follow the keto diet insist that it's the best (and only) way to eat.

Persons: —, I'd, haven't, they've Organizations: Service, Business

☆ Performance-improvement plans in tech: 4 Google and Amazon employees share what happened after they were put on PIP
▼ + stars: | 2023-12-03 | by ( Aria Yang | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +6 min

A former Amazon employee said they developed PTSD from the demanding work. A former Amazon employee was put on PIP and lost a $110,000 deposit on a houseA former Amazon Web Services employee thought things were going well before he was put on a performance-improvement plan called Pivot. An Amazon employee said Amazon placed some employees in a coaching program called FocusA marketing manager at Amazon described getting emails from their manager saying they were underperforming and needed coaching. Later, they said, a coworker pointed out that the manager might've been referring to a coaching program for underperformers called Focus. AdvertisementAn Amazon representative disputed the former employee's account, saying it "does not represent the experience of the vast majority of our employees."

Persons: wouldn't, —, messaged, Slack, that's, Grigory Yakushev, Grigory Yakushev Yakushev, he'd, Yakushev, Read, Amazon, might've, I'm Organizations: Workers, Amazon, Service, Amazon Web, Business, Google, underperformers, Business Insider, Amazon HR

☆ I made $181,000 in revenue last year from my Etsy store. I discovered what made my items sell and learned from 2 big mistakes.
▼ + stars: | 2023-11-28 | by ( Ella Hopkins | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +5 min

I was an MRI technologist working in a hospital when I started my Etsy print-on-demand store. When my Etsy store started to take off, I felt like I finally had control over my life. That year I made $250,000 in revenue from my Etsy store. I spent money on Etsy ads to keep traffic coming to my store. I shouldn't have focused solely on adsI spent $5 a day on Etsy ads for a few weeks in 2021 and then stopped running ads until 2022.

Persons: Heather Johnson, I've, sweatshirt, I'd, didn't, should've, Sellers shouldn't Organizations: Business, LinkedIn, Adobe Locations: I'd

☆ Yes, Sam Altman is back as OpenAI's CEO, but we still have lots of unanswered questions
▼ + stars: | 2023-11-23 | by ( Beatrice Nolan | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +7 min

We now know Sam Altman's returning to the company after being fired, but we are still very confused. AdvertisementSam Altman is set to return as CEO of OpenAI after one of the most confusing weeks in Silicon Valley history. Why was Sam Altman suddenly fired as CEO of OpenAI? Ilya Sutskever, OpenAI's chief scientist who was rumored to play a central role in Sam Altman's ousting, was committed to AI safety. Commentators had speculated that Microsoft would be after an OpenAI board seat — or at least a more formalized communication system — in the wake of the fallout.

Persons: It's, Sam Altman's, —, Sam Altman, Greg Brockman, Altman, Alistair Barr, Yann LeCun —, Ilya Sutskever, OpenAI, ChatGPT, Adam D'Angelo, Satya Nadella, Nadella, Brockman, Kara Swisher, OpenAI should've, would've, Sam, Elon Musk, Peter Welinder Organizations: Service, Microsoft, OpenAI, Big Tech, Bloomberg, The New York Times, Atlantic, Ofc Locations: OpenAI, Silicon Valley

☆ Satya Nadella says OpenAI should've 'consulted' Microsoft before firing Sam Altman
▼ + stars: | 2023-11-21 | by ( Kwan Wei Kevin Tan | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +2 min

Satya Nadella says OpenAI should've 'consulted' Microsoft before firing former CEO Sam Altman. AdvertisementSatya Nadella says OpenAI should "at the very least" have consulted Microsoft before ousting Sam Altman given its investment in the company. The Microsoft CEO told the "On with Kara Swisher" podcast: "It's not even the money and the capital. On Monday, Nadella announced that he'd hired Altman and former OpenAI president Greg Brockman to head Microsoft's new advanced AI research team. Representatives for Microsoft and OpenAI did not immediately respond to requests for comment from Business Insider, sent outside regular business hours.

Persons: Satya Nadella, OpenAI should've, Sam Altman, Kara Swisher's, OpenAI, —, Bing, Kara Swisher, Sam, Someone's, Altman, Emmett Shear, Nadella, he'd, Greg Brockman, Swisher Organizations: Microsoft, Service, Twitch, Business Locations: OpenAI

☆ I left NYC and moved to Eastern Europe after my divorce — but here's what I wish I would've done differently
▼ + stars: | 2023-11-16 | by ( Katka Lapelosova | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +10 min

Katka Lapelosová moved to Serbia in October 2020 after her divorce. Then I fell in love with my best friend from high school, who had never left Long Island, and everything changed. Our nearly 10-year relationship was fantastic and filled with many wonderful memories including a few trips to Europe. AdvertisementSerbia really surprised me and moving here has been interestingLapelosová drove around Serbia and found the countryside very beautiful. Courtesy of Katka LapelosováWhile I love living abroad, it can definitely get lonely, and I still get homesick.

Persons: Katka Lapelosová, Lapelosová, would've, she'll, —, I'm, wasn't, I'd, I've, Lapelosová I've, Serbia —, don't, There's, it's, Belgrade haven't Organizations: Service, Belgrade —, Yorker, EU Locations: Serbia, Yorker, Prague, Long, Europe, EU, Balkans, Serbian, Belgrade, Italy, Spain, Greece, Slovakia, Saint Sava Temple, New York City, Paris, Barcelona, Siberia, Syria, Croatia, Malta

☆ I'm sick of people blaming me for my student-loan debt. It's not all my fault.
▼ + stars: | 2023-09-16 | by ( Frank Olito | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +4 min

Even though I made a mistake when I took out my student loans, people should know it's more nuanced than that. I stupidly assumed I would make enough after graduation to pay off my student loans quickly. It's no secret that state schools get a bad rap and are often looked down on. I had one guidance counselor who told me someone with my grades should aim higher than a state school. I'm now paying for the mistakes and will struggle to pay back my student loans for the next decade.

Persons: I'm, I've, It's, it's, stupidly, wouldn't Organizations: Service, Emerson College Locations: Wall, Silicon

☆ 10 mistakes I made while selling my first startup and what I should've done instead
▼ + stars: | 2023-09-07 | by ( Andrew Gazdecki | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +13 min

I lost my first acquisition offer, got married, almost lost another offer, persuaded the buyer to stick with it, and finally sold my first business. With my experience as a guide, I hope you can avoid these common acquisition mistakes and secure a better outcome. The private equity firm that acquired my first startup, Bizness Apps, asked for dozens of spreadsheets during due diligence. AdvertisementAdvertisementA broker would market my startup and connect me with potential buyers in return for a cut of the purchase price. Even in the closing stages, I continued selling my business and fostering a relationship with my buyer.

Persons: Andrew Gazdecki, might've, I'd, we'd, Bizness, I'm, you'll, you've, doesn't, could've, Weeks Organizations: Service, Apple, Google, Facebook, Adobe Locations: Wall, Silicon

☆ I was put on a PIP in my director-level job and fantasized about quitting. So I quiet quit for 3 months before actually walking out.
▼ + stars: | 2023-08-14 | by ( Jamie Killin | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +6 min

After being placed on a PIP, he 'quiet quit' for 3 months before leaving in January. Within a couple of weeks I was assigned another project, which turned out to be the worst project I've ever worked on. I started warning leadership and my peers that it wasn't going to get doneI told them we needed way more resources if we were going to do it right. That harmed me as a director — I essentially became a really expensive business analyst who wasn't making any money for the firm. After being placed on my PIP, I realized this wasn't the job for me, but I needed to ride it out to make ends meet.

Persons: John Garvens, I've, —, Michael Phelps, — I'd, I'd, I'm Organizations: Service Locations: Wall, Silicon, Freeport , Illinois, Revenue, —

☆ I moved to Japan to teach on a US military base. The whole experience cost me thousands when the job didn't work out.
▼ + stars: | 2023-08-07 | by ( Jamie Killin | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +6 min

Brianna Stultz got an offer to teach on a military base in Okinawa, Japan, and moved in December. Despite making a friend and loving Japan, she regrets taking the job and has moved back to Arizona. I got an initial offer for a teaching job on a military base in Okinawa, Japan, in July 2022 — and I returned home to Arizona almost exactly one year later. I also met a friend through work who I'm absolutely devastated that I'm not going be able to see all the time now. I did love living in Japan, but I'm happy to be home so I can do all the things I missed here.

Persons: Brianna Stultz, —, I'd, I'm, they'd, could've Organizations: Service, Opportunity Commission, Junior League Locations: Okinawa, Japan, Arizona, Wall, Silicon, Phoenix , Arizona, Phoenix, United States

☆ Dwyane Wade's morning routine as a retired NBA player: 'I'm in better shape now than I was as a player'
▼ + stars: | 2023-07-25 | by ( Renée Onque | ) www.cnbc.com time to read: 1 min

Dwyane Wade spent 16 years in the NBA, putting together a glittering career that included three championships, 13 all-star selections and a leading scorer title. As a player, Wade valued his physical fitness above all. In retirement, he has focused more on his overall wellness, including his mental health and time spent in solitude. "I feel like I'm in better shape now than I was actually as a player. I was very muscular, but I didn't take care of my body in the way that I should've because I didn't have the knowledge," he says.

Persons: Dwyane Wade, Wade Organizations: NBA, CNBC

☆ Mark Cuban on the biggest career regret from his 20s—what he'd change if he could 'do it again'
▼ + stars: | 2023-07-20 | by ( Rebecca Picciotto | ) www.cnbc.com time to read: +4 min

"Early on in my career, I wanted to prove how smart I was and so I did a lot more talking than listening," Cuban said. At the time, Cuban says he was sleeping on the floor of a three-bedroom apartment with six roommates in Dallas. The desire to prove himself sometimes led Cuban to be "too cocky," he says, which could rub people the wrong way. The cable services company wanted to move Cuban's company HDNet, a high-definition TV provider, to a higher price tier. Cuban didn't like the deal and consequently sued DirecTV.

Persons: Mark Cuban, Chris Voss, Cuban Organizations: Dallas Mavericks, CompuServe, DirecTV, HDNet, National Basketball, Mavericks, Atlanta Hawks Locations: Dallas, Cuban

I should've known better than to travel during the holidays, and I paid the cost for doing it anyway. I let my travel partner plan the trip, and a delayed flight meant that all his plans went awry. The trip cost me thousands of dollars and put me off international travel. My ill-fated trip to Morocco in 2019 put the final nail in the coffin of my romantic relationship and a nasty dent in my finances. The impossibly brisk pace of the trip and the time difference meant that our cancelled flight resulted in thousands of dollars lost on cancelled hotels, tours, and transportation.

Persons: —, I'd, Mercedes, we'd Organizations: Service Locations: Morocco, Montreal, Old, Toronto

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