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☆ Jamie Lee Curtis said the secret to her 40-year-marriage is a 'really good dose of hatred'
▼ + stars: | 2024-09-11 | by ( Erin Liam | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +4 min

Read previewJamie Lee Curtis said the key to her 40-year-long marriage with filmmaker Christopher Guest is not to leave — even when they hate each other. This story is available exclusively to Business Insider subscribers. She added that "perseverance, patience, gentleness, and a really good dose of hatred" is what she thinks makes a marriage work. Avigail Lev, a San Francisco therapist, previously told Business Insider that couples can follow psychologist John Gottman's "magic ratio of 5:1." A representative for Curtis didn't immediately respond to a request for comment from Business Insider sent outside business hours.

Persons: —, Jamie Lee Curtis, Christopher Guest, Curtis, Marlo Thomas, Phil Donahue, Thomas, Donahue, I'm, Annie, Avigail Lev, John Gottman's, Gottman, Lev, Curtis didn't Organizations: Service, Creative, Business, People, Stone, Science, Business Insider Locations: San Francisco

☆ Jamie Lee Curtis said the secret to her 40-year marriage is a 'really good dose of hatred'
▼ + stars: | 2024-09-11 | by ( Erin Liam | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +4 min

Read previewJamie Lee Curtis said the key to her 40-year marriage with the filmmaker Christopher Guest is not to leave — even when they hate each other. This story is available exclusively to Business Insider subscribers. The 65-year-old actor added that "perseverance, patience, gentleness, and a really good dose of hatred" are what she thinks make a marriage work. Thomas and Donahue, who had been married for 44 years, asked Curtis what she thought the secret to a long marriage was. Avigail Lev, a therapist in San Francisco, previously told Business Insider that couples could follow the psychologist John Gottman's "magic ratio of 5:1."

Persons: —, Jamie Lee Curtis, Christopher Guest, Curtis, Aw, Marlo Thomas, Phil Donahue, Thomas, Donahue, I'm, Annie, Avigail Lev, John Gottman's, Gottman, Lev, Curtis didn't Organizations: Service, Creative, Business, Stone, BI Locations: San Francisco

☆ A couples therapist shares 5 signs you'll have a strong marriage
▼ + stars: | 2024-08-02 | by ( Julia Pugachevsky | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +5 min

You know your values — and align with themOne of the biggest reasons people feel unsure about their relationships is that they don't know themselves, Lev said. "If everything is a 10, you're not going to get that in a partner," Lev said. Related stories"I've never seen a partner be able to end a relationship when they themselves score low on their own values," Lev said. But in a healthy relationship, "you don't expect your partner to be psychic and know all of your needs," Lev said. Advertisement"A lot of couples don't understand that once you're triggered, you're no longer in your prefrontal cortex," Lev said.

Persons: —, Avigail Lev, John, Julie Gottman, Lev, I've, they'll, It's Organizations: Service, Business Locations: San Francisco

☆ 4 key pieces of relationship advice from married psychologists who have worked with 40,000 couples
▼ + stars: | 2024-06-28 | by ( Aditi Shrikant | ) www.cnbc.com time to read: +3 min

Renowned psychologists John and Julie Gottman have interviewed 40,000 couples in quest to find out what makes love last. Through their research at The Gottman Institute, they've learned how successful relationships survive conflict and express affection. In an interview with psychotherapist and bestselling author Esther Perel, The Gottmans said one commonality most successful couples had was their ability to do "repairs." One of the Gottman's most concrete finding is that in successful couples, the ratio of positive to negative interactions during a conflict is five to one. And lo and behold: it was the couples who had maintained at least a five-to-one ratio (or more!)

Persons: John, Julie Gottman, they've, John Gottman, you'll, Esther Perel, didn't, Perel, Joy Organizations: Gottman Institute, TED

☆ How ‘bids for connection’ can make or break a relationship
▼ + stars: | 2024-06-24 | by ( Taylor Nicioli | ) edition.cnn.com time to read: +6 min

In what may seem like a small, everyday exchange, her friend’s reaction was an important indicator for their relationship: She had responded to Caribardi’s “bid for connection,” a term coined by relationship experts at the Gottman Institute in Seattle. Whether the bid is big or small doesn’t matter — what is important is the other person’s response, Schwartz Gottman said. How to recognize a ‘bid for connection’The basis of “bids for connection” stems from the Gottmans’ “Love Lab” research, which started in 1986 and tracked couples for six years. Schwartz Gottman said this test is a good example of the importance of “turning toward” a partner, one of the three responses someone can have to a bid. Schwartz Gottman recommends communicating those feelings directly and honestly to the partner, instead of lashing out with a “turning against” response.

Persons: CNN —, Alyssa Caribardi, Caribardi, Caribardi’s, ”, Julie Schwartz Gottman, John Gottman, Schwartz Gottman, Leander, ” Caribardi, that’s, “, Schwartz, Lauren Fogel Mersy, Fogel Mersy, ” Fogel Mersy, it’s, ” Schwartz Gottman Organizations: CNN, Gottman Institute, Partners Locations: Seattle, Texas, ”, Minnesota

☆ 2 crucial questions people in successful relationships ask, say psychologists who’ve studied 40,000 couples
▼ + stars: | 2024-06-18 | by ( Aditi Shrikant | ) www.cnbc.com time to read: +1 min

They have also studied more than 40,000 couples who are about to begin couples therapy. Through their research they learned that just because a fight is reoccurring doesn't mean it has to be detrimental. "So when we think about fighting right, whether talking about a perpetual problem or a solvable problem, what is the biggest mistake that the disasters of relationships make?" John Gottman said at a TED Talk in April. Some problems are more situational while others seem to linger, but the healthy way to handle them is the same.

Persons: John, Julie Gottman, John Gottman Organizations: Gottman Institute, TED

☆ The No. 1 thing all successful couples do—and more advice from leading love researchers John and Julie Gottman
▼ + stars: | 2024-03-09 | by ( Aditi Shrikant | ) www.cnbc.com time to read: +2 min

In their quest to discover what makes love last, clinical psychologists and researchers John and Julie Gottman interviewed more than 3,000 couples and followed some for as long as 20 years. One commonality most successful couples had, the Gottmans found, was their ability to do "repairs." "The couples who really were successful a few years down the road were the ones who made repairs," Julie Gottman told Perel. Positive interactions included a smile, touching the other person's hand, or simply saying "I understand." Negative interactions were insulting or blaming the other person.

Persons: John, Julie Gottman, Esther Perel, Perel, didn't, John Gottman, Joy

☆ If you and your partner use any of these 5 phrases regularly, your relationship is stronger than most
▼ + stars: | 2024-03-07 | by ( Aditi Shrikant | ) www.cnbc.com time to read: +2 min

The most successful couples, according to psychologists, regularly express devotion, understanding, and contrition. Here are the five phrases that couples who have a strong connection use most, according to experts. The one phrase they say all successful couples use often is "thank you." Harvard psychologist Cortney Warren says successful couples don't avoid conflict, they just better navigate it. This might seem obvious, but communicating your promise to one another can help you and your partner feel validated.

Persons: John, Julie Gottman, —, Cortney Warren, Warren Organizations: CNBC, Harvard

☆ I've been using the viral 'bird test' for years. It's helped me find deeper relationships and cut out one-sided ones.
▼ + stars: | 2024-02-25 | by ( Julia Pugachevsky | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +5 min

The "bird test" is popular on TikTok as a way to assess the reciprocity of a relationship. NEW LOOK Sign up to get the inside scoop on today’s biggest stories in markets, tech, and business — delivered daily. download the app Email address Sign up By clicking “Sign Up”, you accept our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy . Now known on TikTok as the "bird test," this tip is being used to subtly check on the reciprocity of all kinds of relationships, from romantic partnerships to friendships. As someone who's relied on it for a decade, I give the bird test an A++, because it finally helped me sort out the worthwhile relationships in my life.

Persons: John, Julie Gottman, I've, —, Emily Esfahani Smith, who's, aren't, It's Organizations: Service

☆ We've studied over 30,000 couples—here are 6 phrases you'll hear in the most successful relationships
▼ + stars: | 2024-01-30 | by ( Dr. John Gottman | Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman | ) www.cnbc.com time to read: +2 min

We've organized our suggestions into six categories of phrases and what kind of repair they help with. These are tried-and-true phrases for calming down an escalated conflict, pulled from years of observation of over 30,000 couples:1. "I feel"Use this when you need help expressing your emotions in the moment. "I need to calm down"Use this when you start feeling flooded and/or need a moment of repair. "I'm sorry"Use this when you need help phrasing an apology.

Persons: we've

☆ Don't ask Meta's new AI dating coach your kinky sex questions
▼ + stars: | 2023-10-09 | by ( Aaron Mok | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +5 min

Meta's new AI dating assistant, Carter, refuses to openly discuss sex or "explicit" acts. Meta's AI dating coach comes as dating apps seek to include AI features in their platforms. AdvertisementAdvertisementMeta's conversational AI dating coach is happy to provide daters with tips on how to flirt and kiss. Insider"Sexual topics are beyond my scope," the AI chatbot said when asked why it's uncomfortable talking about specific sexual acts. AdvertisementAdvertisementThe rise of Meta's AI dating coach comes as singles turn to generative AI tools to help them land dates.

Persons: Carter, —, chatbot, it's, Gen Z, John Gottman's, Emily Nagoski's, Meta didn't Organizations: Service

☆ The No. 1 place where Americans forget to tip but should ‘always’ leave at least $3, from an etiquette expert
▼ + stars: | 2023-07-13 | by ( Morgan Smith | ) www.cnbc.com time to read: +3 min

But there's one important place they're often forgetting to pay gratuity altogether amid the "tipflation" debate, according to one etiquette expert: hotels. Hotel housekeepers are often stiffed on gratuities — but it's a service you should "always tip on," Diane Gottsman, founder of The Protocol School in Texas and a nationally-recognized etiquette expert, tells CNBC Make It. Plus, like many service workers, some hotel housekeepers might rely on gratuities to help make ends meet, Gottsman points out. 5 times it's OK not to tip, according to etiquette expertsDo you always need to tip 20%? Here's how much an etiquette expert says to leave at restaurants, hotels and more

Persons: Diane Gottsman, Gottsman, They're Organizations: Protocol, CNBC, housekeepers, Bureau of Labor Statistics, American Hotel Association Locations: Texas, …, U.S

☆ The No. 1 thing we 'never ever' do to have a successful relationship: 2 married psychologists who studied 40,000 couples
▼ + stars: | 2023-05-20 | by ( Dr. John Gottman | Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman | ) www.cnbc.com time to read: +2 min

In that time, they have studied more than 40,000 couples to learn about love. As psychologists, we've studied more than 40,000 couples about to begin couples therapy. We've also been happily married to each other for 35 years, so we know a thing or two about how to build a successful, long-lasting relationship. Still, there is one thing we've learned to never ever do: fight when we are emotionally flooded. These behaviors can harm both your partner's trust in you and the foundations of your relationship.

☆ Here's the No. 1 thing successful couples never do, say psychologists: It can 'destroy a relationship'
▼ + stars: | 2023-04-28 | by ( Dr. John Gottman | Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman | ) www.cnbc.com time to read: +1 min

In our 50 years working as psychologists, we've studied more than 40,000 partners about to start couples therapy. Ultimately, we've found that there's one thing successful couples never do: take each other for granted. A lack of appreciation can destroy a relationshipSaying "thank you" helps, but building a culture of appreciation requires much more than that. They focus on everything that their partner is doing wrong and criticize each other for it. When couples caught in this negative spiral, the relationship breakers that we call the "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" come galloping.

☆ This is the No. 1 thing all successful couples do, love researchers John and Julie Gottman tell therapist Esther Perel
▼ + stars: | 2023-04-15 | by ( Aditi Shrikant | ) www.cnbc.com time to read: +1 min

In a recent interview on her online class platform "Sessions", psychotherapist and bestselling author Ester Perel interviewed renowned clinical psychologists John and Julie Gottman. Much of their research is through the The Gottman Institute, formerly the Gottman Love Lab, a center at the University of Washington which has been conducting research since the 1980s. One commonality most successful couples had, the Gottmans found, was their ability to do "repairs." "The couples who really were successful a few years down the road were the ones who made repairs," Julie Gottman told Perel. This lesson was a "paradigm shift," Perel told them.

As a psychologist and sexologist, we've been studying relationships for more than 50 years combined, and we've found that no matter how you slice it, most of them fail because of poor communication. ", psychologist Dr. John Gottman identifies the four most problematic types of communication in relationships, based on his studies of 40,000 couples: Contempt: Expressing a lack of respect for our partners (e.g., name-calling, eye-rolling, ridiculing). Of these four, Gottman says, the biggest predictor of a failed relationship is contempt. How contempt destroys relationshipsContempt makes it impossible for partners to feel like they have each other's back. This often stems from individuals feeling that they are standing up for themselves, which is usually a healthy thing to do.

☆ The secret to having successful relationships and being a superstar manager comes down to 2 words
▼ + stars: | 2023-01-26 | by ( Natasha Piñon | ) www.cnbc.com time to read: +2 min

Psychologists Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, who studied 40,000 couples, found those simple words were the No. For starters, saying "thank you" is good for your health — no matter the context. In his 2022 book "Say Thank You for Everything: The Secrets of Being a Great Manager," Edwards outlines 19 things every new manager needs to learn — and saying "thank you" is the kicker. Two out of every three workers surveyed said their manager could improve at giving in-the-moment, positive feedback. Managers can start by saying "thank you" for small, everyday tasks.

☆ Here’s the No. 1 phrase used in successful relationships, say psychologists who studied 40,000 couples
▼ + stars: | 2023-01-20 | by ( Dr. John Gottman | Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman | ) www.cnbc.com time to read: +3 min

As psychologists, we've studied more than 40,000 partners about to begin couples therapy. We've also been happily married to each other for 35 years, so we know a thing or two about successful relationships. You can tell your partner you're observing them to get a better sense of their day, and everything they do. Step 2: Say "thank you." Tell them why that small thing is a big deal to you: "Thank you for making the coffee every morning.

☆ 4 'red flags' that might mean your relationship is in trouble
▼ + stars: | 2022-12-17 | by ( ) www.cnbc.com time to read: +3 min

Most people have a rolodex of red flags that can turn them off on a first date. When you're well into a serious partnership, though, red flags can be harder to identify. "I think that in itself can be a bit of a red flag in a relationship," she says. Some signs you might be raising your partner include:You think their way of being is "not good enough," Bobby says. You can reframe this as an opportunity and ask your partner for more dates by describing how you feel.

☆ 2 'red flag phrases' that mean your relationship is in 'shaky territory,' according to John and Julie Gottman
▼ + stars: | 2022-11-14 | by ( Aditi Shrikant | ) www.cnbc.com time to read: +2 min

However, renowned clinical psychologists and researchers John and Julie Gottman have dedicated the last forty years to answering it. Much of their research is conducted through The Gottman Love Lab, a research center dedicated to finding out how love lasts. "These red flag phrases alert us that a couple is in shaky territory," they write. 'We've all been shut down'Most people know that asking for what you want is harder than it sounds. A better way to get what you want is to simply ask, in a straightforward, non-accusatory way.

☆ This is the math equation that 'makes you or breaks you' in a marriage, says love researchers John and Julie Gottman
▼ + stars: | 2022-11-12 | by ( Aditi Shrikant | ) www.cnbc.com time to read: +1 min

John and Julie Gottman are renowned clinical psychologists and researchers who've dedicated decades to finding out why some marriages last and others sour. The two have interviewed more than 3,000 couples and followed some for as long as 20 years. They have also studied more than 40,000 couples who are about to begin couples therapy. "We watched couples, logged the data, then released them back into the wild," they write. during conflict who were still happily together, still feeling the love."

As psychologists, we've studied more than 40,000 couples about to begin couples therapy. We've also been married to each other for 35 years, so we know a thing or two about successful relationships. One of the biggest determining factors was how often a couple "turned toward" their partner instead of "turning away." 1 relationship hack: 'Turning toward'When a couple turns toward each other, they make and respond to what we call "bids for connection." How to practice turning toward in your relationshipIf you feel like turning toward has faded from your relationship — don't worry.

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