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“Thanksgiving! Perhaps I can explain the way this pardon went down in my new one-man show, ‘Can You Get Hunter to Stop Looking at Me Like That?’” — JON STEWART“He’s an 82-year-old man — he doesn’t want to spend the rest of his life visiting his son in prison.” — JON STEWART“Hypocrisy isn’t illegal, nor is it particularly unusual in politics. It’s not like he’s ever going to run again, so why not take care of your kid, even if you said you weren’t going to? I don’t have a problem with it. The problem is, the rest of the Democrats made Biden’s pledge to not pardon Hunter the foundation of their defense of America.” — JON STEWART
Persons: — JON STEWART “ He’s, ” — JON STEWART, It’s, Hunter Locations: America
“He arrived at the intersection of American history, where he put a quarter in the parking meter of destiny, leaving the car, looking to avoid stepping in the urine puddle of jurisprudence.” — JON STEWART, mocking the media’s coverage of Trump’s arrival in court“Seriously, are we going to follow this guy to court every [expletive] day? If the media tries to make us feel like the most mundane [expletive] is earth-shattering, we won’t believe you when it’s really interesting. It’s your classic ‘Boy Who Cried Wolf Blitzer.’” — JON STEWART“Look, we've got a long ways to go here. It’s the first day of the first of his 438 trials to come. Pace yourselves, and if you’re bored, you can always start planning how you’re going to [expletive] up covering his next trial and the sober mea culpa you’ll deliver during his next term as president.” — JON STEWART
Persons: ” — JON STEWART, — JON STEWART “, you’re, Donald Trump, ” — JON STEWART “, we've, you’ll
“Look, the United States is Israel’s closest ally. Israel’s work emergency contact. Maybe it’s time for the U.S. to give Israel some tough moral love.” — JON STEWART“‘Hey, Israel, take it down a notch. But really, couldn’t the United States have told Israel that when we gave them all the bombs? This is like your coke dealer coming over with an eight ball and going, ‘Don’t stay up all night.’” — JON STEWART“Let’s just ask God.
Persons: Israel’s, ” — JON STEWART “ ‘, Don’t, ’ ” — JON STEWART “ Let’s, It’s, ” — JON STEWART “, Jordan —, ” — JON STEWART Organizations: Hamas, NATO, Treaty Organization Locations: United States, Israel, Palestine, Egypt, Qatar
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. “I just think it’s better to deal head-on with what’s an apparent issue to people,” Stewart said, defending himself. It was 20 minutes! I did 20 minutes of one [expletive] show! I would need mentorship!” Stewart said before rolling a clip of Tucker Carlson’s interview with President Vladimir V. Putin of Russia.
Persons: ’ Jon Stewart, Biden, , what’s, ” Stewart, ” — JON STEWART “, Tucker Carlson’s, Vladimir V, Putin Organizations: Netflix Locations: Russia
Jon Stewart Returns to Form on ‘The Daily Show’
  + stars: | 2024-02-13 | by ( Trish Bendix | ) www.nytimes.com   time to read: +1 min
The next nine months, Stewart said, “they’re going to suck.”“Look, Joe Biden isn’t Donald Trump. What’s crazy is thinking that we’re the ones, as voters, who must silence concerns and criticisms. So, the good news is, I’m not saying you don’t have to worry about who wins the election. I’m saying you have to worry about every day before it and every day after, forever. Although, on the plus side, I am told that at some point, the sun will run out of hydrogen.” — JON STEWART
Persons: Stewart, Biden, Donald Trump, “ they’re, Joe Biden isn’t Donald Trump, hasn’t, ” — JON STEWART “, ” — JON STEWART “ I’ve, I’m, — JON STEWART
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