Growing up means being left out sometimes, especially when friends splinter into new social groups during middle school and teen years. With group chats and social media, kids can more easily see when they’re not part of the crowd. Exclusion can result in hurt feelings, even when there’s no malicious intent behind it. But educators, pediatricians and researchers say online exclusion can be overt, particularly in group texts or chats on whatever platform teens use to communicate and make plans, be it Apple’s iMessage, Snapchat , Instagram—even Zoom.

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