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Remembering life in the earliest days of the pandemic shutdowns can feel like trying to conjure an apocalyptic dream: the empty streetscapes, the shrieking ambulances, the sudden scramble to find toilet paper and hand sanitizer. As the fourth anniversary of the Covid-19 pandemic approaches, The Times wants to know: When did the pandemic hit home for you? What do you remember thinking, feeling and seeing in those turbulent early days of March 2020? Do you still have photos on your camera roll from your first time wearing a mask, or heading to work as an essential employee while the rest of the world hunkered down? Or perhaps the reality of the pandemic came on suddenly, as you or a loved one got sick.
Persons: Organizations: Times
When Janet Ha, 65, first tried online dating in February, she found it “confusing and weird.”Her son’s 20-something ex helped her make a profile on Bumble, but all of her initial matches were focused on hooking up. “I had checked ‘something casual’ — because I didn’t think I was looking for a relationship — but I didn’t realize what that meant on Bumble,” Ms. Ha said, laughing. “I just did not want to have to take care of anybody anymore,” said Ms. Ha, a teacher from Minnesota who plans to retire in the spring of 2024. Dating among older Americans is in the spotlight thanks to the upcoming premiere of “The Golden Bachelor,” which follows Gerry Turner, a 72-year-old widower, on his quest to find a partner in a “Bachelor” spinoff show featuring singles age 60 and older. (Ideally, Mr. Turner has said, a “high-energy” partner who might like pickleball or golf.)
Persons: Janet Ha, , ” Ms, Ha, , Gerry Turner, Turner Locations: Minnesota
“This is really the first truly digital generation, and we have yet to see how much effect this has,” said Dr. Frances Jensen, a neurologist at the University of Pennsylvania and the author of “The Teenage Brain.”“We can get snapshots,” she added. What we know is that the brain matures from back to front, a process that starts in infancy and continues into adulthood, Dr. Jensen explained. And during adolescence, there is a particular flurry of activity in the middle part of the brain, which is associated with rewards and social feedback. “Areas that have to do with peers, peer pressure, impulsivity and emotion are very, very, very active,” Dr. Jensen said. (It’s “use it or lose it,” Dr. Jensen explained.)
Persons: , Frances Jensen, , Jensen, Dr, Mitch Prinstein, ” Dr Organizations: University of Pennsylvania, American Psychological Association
The moment my husband walks through the door after traveling for work — something he does about a third of the year — is pandemonium. Caring for our kids while my husband travels is nothing at all like single parenting. During the years when he left me alone with our baby and toddler, I could still cry on the phone with him. When my husband is away, my two children and I are an efficient unit. He believes couples need to prioritize regular check-ins and explicitly “contract” household duties with each other, making their respective expectations and commitments clear.
Persons: pounce, “ Dada, Terrence Real,
As relationship transgressions go, “phubbing” — a portmanteau of “phone” and “snubbing” — is, on the surface, fairly benign. A recent study linked higher levels of phubbing to marital dissatisfaction, and a 2022 study found it can lead to feelings of distrust and ostracism. One study found that those who phub a lot are more likely to be phubbed themselves, creating a kind of ripple effect. He said the issue comes up among the couples he works with on an almost weekly basis. Fortunately for most couples, it’s a relatively easy issue to fix, he said.
Persons: you’ve, , Anthony Chambers, Chambers Organizations: Family Institute, Northwestern University
It’s just a “little mental flip,” Dr. Kurtz said, but one that “can make the time feel precious.”Figure out what you crave from travel and try to recreate it. She recommends asking a similar question before a staycation: What can I bring into my home that can help give me those feelings? If you are spending your break with kids in tow, perhaps alternate who chooses activities so everyone has something to enjoy. So do what you can to heighten your sense of anticipation, Dr. Lyubomirsky said. “You don’t want to have an experience and immediately forget about it,” Dr. Lyubomirsky said.
Persons: It’s, Dr, Kurtz, Rose De Vore, De Vore, Sonja Lyubomirsky, , , Lyubomirsky Organizations: Travel, Network, University of California Locations: Riverside
Former Mayor Bill de Blasio of New York City and his wife, Chirlane McCray, announced that they were separating after nearly 30 years in an interview with The New York Times on Wednesday. Their story begins with an “aha” moment in the midst of what the article calls yet another “stale Saturday night of binge-watching television” together. “Why aren’t you lovey-dovey anymore?” Mr. de Blasio reportedly asked his wife, a question likely to feel familiar to anyone in a long-term relationship who has felt the slow fade of lust and excitement. Certainly the couple — who are not divorcing, and will continue to share the Brooklyn townhouse where they raised their children — have faced other complicating factors that extend far beyond humdrum weekend plans, among them the grueling pace of electoral politics and Mr. de Blasio’s failed presidential bid. Still, for those who see a kernel of themselves in the couple’s story, experts say there are simple but helpful questions to ask yourself and your partner before it is too late.
Persons: Bill de Blasio, Chirlane McCray, de Blasio, , de Blasio’s Organizations: The New York Times, aha, Brooklyn Locations: New York City
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