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Instead, we spend the next few weeks hopping from bar to bar, in an attempt to manifest the sort of meet-cute you only see on the CW. This is exactly what you shouldn't be doing, says Blaine Anderson, an Austin, Texas-based dating coach and founder of Dating by Blaine. Other dating and relationship experts agree that bars tend to be the go-to venue for singles, but often don't net meaningful connections. "If you're showing up in bars but don't want to build a life around substance use, you're not going to meet someone you like," Bobby says. Grace Lee Dating Coach
Persons: Blaine Anderson, Blaine, Grace Lee, Lisa Marie Bobby, Bobby, Lee Locations: Austin , Texas, New York City, Denver,
It is also one of the worst pieces of relationship advice, according to renowned psychotherapist Esther Perel. But tension is actually a sign of a potentially healthy partnership. "Therapy speak of a certain kind has the word 'self' in front of everything — self-awareness, self-realization, self-fulfillment, self-care, self-image," Perel says. A prerequisite for being able to grow into the type of person who can have healthy, high-quality relationships is being able to understand yourself. Lisa Marie Bobby Relationships Therapist
Persons: Esther Perel, Perel, Lisa Marie Bobby, Bobby Locations: Denver
Nearly half, 48%, of singles under the age of 35 want a serious or committed relationship, according to a new eharmony report. Almost one-third, 30%, believe that you need to go on two dates a week if you want to find a long-term relationship. This might not be enough, though, says Lisa Marie Bobby, a relationship psychologist and founder of Growing Self Counseling & Coaching in Denver. "In my experience it takes a lot of energy to find your person," she says. "People who are really serious about finding their person are going to be spending a lot more time than two days a week dating," Bobby says.
Persons: Lisa Marie Bobby, Bobby Locations: Denver
"When you're doing 'I statements' you're being careful to acknowledge the fact that the other person could see things differently," she says. "That's why they are so powerful and a very effective communication strategy that can reduce the possibility of a courageous conversation turning into an unproductive conflict." When a partner upsets you , it's natural to want to point out which of their actions you took issue with. In fact, there are plenty of "I statements" that still put the blame on the other person, Bobby says. Plus, sign up for CNBC Make It's newsletter to get tips and tricks for success at work, with money and in life.
Persons: Lisa Marie Bobby, it's, Bobby, I'm Organizations: CNBC Locations: Denver
I've interviewed dozens of therapists about how to navigate relationship turbulence and found that they generally offer up pretty predictable advice: communicate, compromise, express appreciation. Here are five surprising pieces of advice, from relationship and family therapists. This is especially important during times of friction, says Vienna Pharaon, a marriage and family therapist and author of "The Origins of You." People often dismiss or forget the value of community once they enter a partnership, says Dené Logan, a marriage and family therapist and author of "Sovereign Love." Dené Logan marriage and family therapist3.
Persons: I've, Lisa Marie Bobby, Vienna Pharaon, Dené Logan, Bobby, Logan Locations: Denver, Vienna
It's challenging to strike the right tone when breaking up with a romantic partner. This can be particularly hard for people who are conflict avoidant, says Lisa Marie Bobby, a psychologist and founder of Growing Self Counseling & Coaching. Instead of being honest about why they want to end the relationship, they give whatever they believe will be the least upsetting reason. Though it may be done from a place of care, this strategy can be both frustrating and insulting to your partner. Here are three phrases you should avoid when cutting ties with a romantic partner.
Persons: Lisa Marie Bobby, Bobby
A quarter of Gen Zers polled in February noted "not finding love" as their greatest worry, according to an EduBirdie survey of 2,000 participants from the generation. Finding a life partner was one of the biggest perceived challenges for 22% of those polled — a bigger concern for them than finding meaningful career opportunities. Some Zoomers seem to be getting married at younger ages and while they're jumping the broom and starting families, a number of unpartnered Gen Zers are dealing with anxiety about their romantic future. For Gen Zers looking for love, the playing field is a little different than that of Millennials when they were in their 20's. Really assess the quality of the connections in your life because loneliness can affect you even when you're surrounded by people.
Persons: Gen Z, Gen Zers, Zers, Lisa Marie Bobby, Bobby, Anastasiya, Pochotna, It's Organizations: CNBC
YourMove.AI, an AI dating tool that offers a range of services such as drafting messages, analyzing conversations and evaluating users' dating app profiles, has about 250,000 users, founder Dmitri Mirakyan estimates. Rizz, an AI dating assistant, debuted in 2022 after ChatGPT took off. Like in other areas, relying too much on AI in dating can cross the line into unethical behavior. Although the use of AI for dating purposes isn't necessarily all bad, he added, dating apps will still need to "tread with caution." WATCH: How I built my $400 million-a-year dating app
Persons: Stan Marsh, Clyde Donovan, Clyde, Stan, OpenAI, it's, Dmitri Mirakyan, YourMove, Mirakyan, ChatGPT, he'd, Roman Khaves, Josh Miller, Khaves, It's, Jonathan Raa, Alex Weitzman, Weitzman, They've, Gary Kremen, Kremen, Lisa Marie Bobby, Bobby, Renate Nyborg, Nyborg, Meeno Organizations: Nvidia, CNBC, Nurphoto, OpenAI's Locations: U.S, New York, chihuahua, Finland, Australia, New Zealand, Netherlands
When Susan Lehman, 43, woke up to a sink full of dirty dishes, her knee-jerk reaction was anger. She pans her camera to the mess her partner left overnight. I just love that he acknowledges that he left a mess in the sink." "The most important thing is how the person in the relationship feels about the situation," Bobby says. "She experienced it as being a very positive thing that was indicative of all the positive growth and change they've made together as a couple."
Persons: Susan Lehman, Lehman, Lisa Marie Bobby, Bobby, they've Locations: Denver
If you're ruminating, though, you don't need a picture to start thinking about your relationship. "Basically, any time there is some empty space where your mind isn't consumed, if you're thinking about your ex, you're ruminating," Larkin says. Basically, any time there is some empty space where your mind isn't consumed, if you're thinking about your ex you're ruminating. "Your family and friends can let you know if you're ruminating," Larkin says. If you're ruminating, though, you're comparing actions or traits that don't really matter, Larkin says.
Persons: Lisa Marie Bobby, Bobby, Pamela Larkin, you've, Larkin, you'll, didn't Organizations: American Psychological Association, Facebook Locations: rumination, Denver, ruminating
In long-term relationships, it's very common for people to link their unhappiness to their partner's actions. They think, "if my partner texted me every morning I'd feel less anxious," or "if my partner wanted to travel more I'd feel more stimulated." "I very commonly see people using false logic when it comes to their relationships," Bobby says. "That the way they feel is because of some external circumstance." This could lead a person to ask their partner to shift some behaviors in an effort to alleviate their own relational anxiety.
Persons: Lisa Marie Bobby, Bobby Locations: Denver
Last week Sarah Brady, an ex-girlfriend of actor Jonah Hill, started posting screenshots of text messages the couple exchanged during their year-long relationship to her Instagram account. He includes "surfing with men," "to post pictures of yourself in a bathing suit," and "to model." The screenshots sparked discussion around Hill's use of the word "boundaries" and how what we know as "therapy-speak" can be invoked to justify questionable behavior. "Therapy speak has become weaponized in many ways," says Lisa Marie Bobby, psychologist and clinical director of Growing Self Counseling & Coaching in Denver. "By saying, 'you're failing to respect my boundaries,' it is effectively stopping the conversation and accusing someone else of being inappropriate," Bobby says.
Persons: Sarah Brady, Jonah Hill, Brady, Lisa Marie Bobby, Bobby Locations: Denver
Bill de Blasio, former mayor of New York City, and his wife Chirlane McCray announced their separation earlier this week. But the end of their union doesn't resemble what many would describe as a typical divorce. "They are not planning to divorce, they said, but will date other people," The New York Times reported. "They will continue to share the Park Slope townhouse where they raised their two children, now in their 20s…"This arrangement is becoming less uncommon, says psychologist Lisa Marie Bobby. "I do think there is more recognition for all of the gray areas in between [being married and divorced], and I certainly have seen and worked with couples who are separating and living together."
Persons: Bill de Blasio, Chirlane McCray, Lisa Marie Bobby Organizations: New York Times Locations: New York City, Denver
The dating app experience is often void of one crucial thing: a date. If you've ever used Tinder, Bumble, Grindr or any other dating app, this probably doesn't surprise you. A common sequence of events is: you match, you message, they message, you message, they message, and on and on until one person just stops. For some reason, taking the date offline and in person just doesn't happen and every message dilutes any initial excitement you had about the match. They sign up for an app and their default is to not think about it that much and text people."
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