Poor Justin Timberlake … are not three words I could have imagined typing 25, or 15 or even five years ago. Sprinkling salt on the wound, Page Six reported that the arresting officer didn’t know who the perp was. Streams of Britney Spears’ song “Criminal” spiked. The misery of celebrities always occasions a fire hose of schadenfreude, but this seems next level. Where, I found myself wondering as I scrolled and LOL’ed, are the fans rallying to his defense?

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Persons: Justin Timberlake …, Timberlake, Mickey, Britney Spears, didn’t Organizations: Mickey Mouse Club, Hamptons