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Search resuls for: "Dr. Jessica Griffin"


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It also happens to be the most important skill every therapist needs to be good at their job: reflective listening. But there's one powerful tool we teach that can be used not just in your intimate relationships, but with friends, family and even coworkers. The goal of reflective listening isn't to solve the problem for the other person, but rather for them to feel validated and heard. Begin the conversation with the person who has the object; the other person doesn't get to talk until they're handed it. Pepper Schwartz, PhD, is a sexuality expert and co-author of "Relationship Rx: Prescriptions for Lasting Love and Deeper Connection."
Persons: we've, they've, Jessica Griffin, Jessica, Pepper Schwartz, Pepper Organizations: University of Massachusetts Chan Medical, Twitter, University of Washington Locations: PsyD, Seattle
As a psychologist and sexologist, we've spent a combined 50 years studying what makes relationships successful. One misconception many people have is that happy couples argue less. When we work with couples who seem to be making no progress in their disagreements, we often suggest they declare a truce and make a plan to communicate better. They each write down what has been bothering them about the other person (and about the relationship itself). In order for this to be effective, couples must establish certain rules of engagement about how these problems will be shared and discussed.
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As a psychologist and sexologist, we've been studying relationships for more than 50 years combined, and we've found that no matter how you slice it, most of them fail because of poor communication. ", psychologist Dr. John Gottman identifies the four most problematic types of communication in relationships, based on his studies of 40,000 couples: Contempt: Expressing a lack of respect for our partners (e.g., name-calling, eye-rolling, ridiculing). Of these four, Gottman says, the biggest predictor of a failed relationship is contempt. How contempt destroys relationshipsContempt makes it impossible for partners to feel like they have each other's back. This often stems from individuals feeling that they are standing up for themselves, which is usually a healthy thing to do.
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